


And yet with you my world had started.

by ramenluvwithu



Category: X-Men (Movies), X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Erik Has Feelings, Erik is a Sweetheart, Honestly Charles What Are You Thinking, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-10
Updated: 2015-01-10
Packaged: 2018-03-06 22:20:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3150395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ramenluvwithu/pseuds/ramenluvwithu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Moira MacTaggert and Charles Xavier were made for each other, and for Erik Lehnsherr it was a clear fact, but he couldn't help himself everytime she kissed him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And yet with you my world had started.

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, not even my second one, so, I would like to apologize in advance just in case there are mistakes. I hope you enjoy it.

He was kissing her, tenderly, softly, his sweet, red mouth against her pink, lovely lips. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, tight, like she was trying not to let him go. They were a boy and a girl, two beautiful human beings, in love. Quite a lovely scene.

But there was him, watching them, feeling all those awful things taking place inside of him, all the jealousy and the hate, aching, biting. He was used to feel that kind of things, but he wasn't used to feel them just because a woman was kissing his best friend, his only friend. Moira MacTaggert and Charles Xavier were made for each other, and for Erik Lehnsherr it was a clear fact, but he couldn't help himself everytime she kissed him. Erik wanted to be in her place so badly... and he hated himself for thinking about that. For feeling that way.

Charles broke the kiss and she left. He went upstairs and joined his bedroom, and Erik didn't move, breathing heavily. All he wanted to do was going to Charles' room and kiss him, bite him, _fuck_ him, let him know how much he loved him, never letting him go... but he was a coward, or maybe he didn't want to lose his old friend, and that was all.

He was lost in his own, and he didn't even realize that Charles was back, just in front of him, looking at him and wondering what he was thinking so deeply.

"Everything's okay, my friend?". His voice was calm, and soft, just like always. He licked his lower lip, that thing he was always doing. Erik had dreams with that.

"Y-yes. I was just thinking". He cleared his throat, trying to look like he wasn't thinking about fucking his friend.

"Are you going to bed? Because I can't sleep and I was wondering if...".  
"Chess?".  
"Yes, chess".

Erik grinned at him, just a second before he started to walk towards the library, followed by Charles, of course.

And there were them, playing chess, drinking Scotch, pretending things weren't as they were: Erik trying to forget that he desired Charles so much, and the English trying to forget all the things he knew about Erik, what he thought about him. Charles didn't want to read his mind, but Erik was so focused that he projected himself, and a telepath just _can't_ ignore that. He saw himself naked, kissing Erik, Erik making love to him, screaming Erik's name untill his voice broke... It was weird, knowing that Erik desired that with so much intensity, but it also felt amazing. He never thought about Erik that way, but he couldn't stop thinking about it while they were playing, and Erik knew that Charles was completely gone when he beated him for the fourth time. Charles's pride wouldn't resist in other circumstances.

"You asked me before if everything was okay. I'm afraid I'll have to ask that to you, my friend. Is everything okay?". Erik looked him right into his eyes.  
"Oh, yes, I'm sorry Erik, it was me who was thinking too much this time. Maybe we should go and rest, what do you think?".  
"Okay, you need it, as I can see, my friend". Charles smiled at him, biting his lower lip again. He was feeling a little bit drunk, he was starting to think about wrong things. 

He got up, and he was about to reach the door of the library when he changed his mind. He went back to his place in the couch, but he didn't sit: he moved closer to Erik, his eyes looking brighter than ever, and kissed his lips, just for trying, just because he could, and because he wanted to know how it was to kiss Erik, someone who loved him that much, who desired him so badly.

Erik didn't understand; he just parted his lips, tasting the alcohol in Charles' tongue, exploring his mouth as he always wanted. Charles got closer to him, feeling the heat from Erik's body. He wasn't thinking at all; he felt good. There were teeth, and tongue, and lips, and bites, and Erik thought he was in Heaven, feeling the lack of oxygen in his lungs. He was excited, about to explode. That was coming out of nowhere, and he was really sure that Charles wasn't interested in men. Why _that_ , then? Why _him_? And what about his bloody girlfriend? His eyes were closed, and he was getting even closer. He had started to kiss him slowly, almost sweetly, the way he was kissing Moira before, but now it was turning into something wild, almost filth.

Charles realized he was kissing Erik too late. His mind was so bright, so full of desired... he couldn't resist it. The alcohol was mixed with all the sensations in the air and he had to let everything go, explode. He felt loved. Really loved, for the first time in his life. It wasn't that Moira didn't love him; she did, of course she did, but it was another kind of love. She loved him like someone else: Erik loved him like he was the only man on Earth, like he couldn't even think of another person.

He broke the kiss, and he left the library, going upstairs, closing the door of his bedroom once he was inside. There were tears on his face, and he didn't know why. Did he love Erik? The entire world had seemed to change, now that his lips had collided against Erik's.

Erik had made him feel like a real person, for the first time in his life. 

He was sitting on the floor, feeling stupid. Awful. How could he look at Erik again? He wasn't sure if he loved Erik - he had never thought about him that way; besides, he was dating Moira -, but Erik loved Charles, undoubtedly.

He felt like the worst person on Earth. 

But he also knew, like a revelation, that the had always loved Erik.

Erik was even more confused than Charles. When he got closer to him, and kissed him, Erik thought he was dreaming, and he started to realize it was reality too late: Charles was leaving by then, and he had no clue about what to do next. He didn't know if Charles loved him back or if he was kissing him just because he was drunk, or just for fun. Maybe the best he could do was leaving Charles alone that night; also, he needed to clear his mind before trying to talk to him. He sighed, just before he left the heath of the library.

But that kiss had meant everything.


End file.
